I used to condiser myself as a victim. and today, i learnt that im the villain. I agree that its shocking, sad, beautiful, and above all, ironic. It seems to me at first as a bucket of cold water being thrown at my face. Im speechless. Breathless. But as the water goes down, i can see the picture clearer than before.
I used to think that my friends never tell me anything, and i used to get pissed because of that. God, i was wrong. I thought that i dont belong with them. and once again, i was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Im a selfish boy without realizing, i blame others for my mistakes.
I get angry when no one reaches out for me, but the truth is... They are... I just cant see through the wall.
But today, i guess parts of the walls have been bombarded by the bucket of water. And Im grateful of it. I've spent the last 17 years dramatizing my life. For what? For endless misery, I think
Maybe what you see is not what it is. Your mind is a dangerous place, you may see what you're thinking in your mind, eventhough it's not the reality. I've been there, done that. Thankfully, I have my friends to watch me. To keep me away from my mind. Thanks is just the words im looking for you guys. And sorry i guess.
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