Karena Ku Sayang Kamu ...

Seandainya kau ada di sini denganku
Mungkin ku tak sendiri
Bayanganmu yang selalu menemaniku
Hiasi malam sepiku
Ku ingin bersama dirimu

Ku tak akan pernah berpaling darimu
Walau kini kau jauh dariku
Kan s’lalu ku nanti
Karena ku sayang kamu
Hati ini selalu memanggil namamu
Dengarlah melatiku
Kuberjanji hanyalah untukmu cintaku
Tak kan pernah ada yang lain
Adakah rindu di hatimu
Seperti rindu yang ku rasa
Sanggupkah ku terus terlena
Tanpamu di sisiku
Ku kan selalu menantimu

(... i can't say anything ... i'm fragille now,ugh T.T )

nothingness

can you see what i see?
no i don't think you can
i see images of nothing
and i attempt to make that
nothingness mean something
as hard as i try there is
still nothind and that nothing
is meaningless
i am somewhere elsa now, outside
i am surrounded by people and
the sky. i see the people and the blueness of the sky
but still nothing had changed
everything remains the same
i am still alone.

Hmmm

So what do you think is better:

1. Having your answers regarded as the best, but with less mark.

2. Having your answers regarded as not that perfect, but with higher mark.

Sorry, there's no 3rd option (for the current case studies). I happen to experience the first one, and some people actually told me I should have aimed for the 2nd option. Simple reply: What's the use of high marks when you know that you havent done your best?

Sometimes you see them near you. Those who the society refer to as the 'beautiful' people. Those who according to Janis Ian, win in this life. And I thought that happens in movies only.

For years I befriended one. Those who get everything I have ever dreamt of. Those who without even trying, got everything squandered without sweat. And here I stand. Striving to get a glimpse of those dreams, tried gamely and failed completely.

For times I thought the world is not fair. How someone can get so much while others simply vain. How things that came first in your list, became last on theirs, and still they get it first.

Baffled you can call me. Angry? Definitely. Although there are some jealousy building up inside. How can you hate someone when you know you want to be in their position?

"A man was hung crying in the rain. Because of love."
I hate myself for what Im thinking at this precise moment

Thanks for making me realize not to repeat the same mistake again, by sharing it to you.

Into The Abyss

Why is someone whom you considered to have everything still feel this loneliness deep inside? A deep bottomless pit that grows bigger and bigger, slowly uprising into your mind and deliberately controls it.

That your life is driven by it.
Every step you made, every breath you take, every movement you made, every thought you have, each brings you deeper into the pit, pulling you inside slowly, making you gaze blankly every second in your life.

There's something missing,i know there is.
But even thinking about it squeezed my heart with stage fright. Im afraid to think of the unthinkable.

They say time heals wounds.
But they say it so often that it loses the magic, a nothing in everything.

How would I survive,how would i live,how would i breathe. 
If I know there would be noone to pull me up

Hear this, lose it,live with it.

I'm empty.

behind the wheel

I hate to lose.

I know that it may be unhealthy, but I really really got pissed if there's a fcking small car thinking that they're so small to move left or right without any sign.

I hate it even more if they sped up past me.

It makes me pissed. And challenged.

I never can rest until I drove past them again, like what they did to me.


I really really should stop driving and learn to use drivers to go somewhere. It's really not good for my heart and health.

MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS

mungkin sebagian besar orang sekarang menganggap uang adalah segala-galanya
jika kamu mengatakan "tidak setuju" dengan perkataan di atas,mungkin kamu adalah orang yang munafik
sebagian besar kita PASTI butuh uang!
tanpa uang kita tidak bisa hidup selayaknya manusia, mungkin kita bisa hidup tanpa uang,makan minum dari mengais di sampah atau meminta-minta,tapi siapa yang ingin menjadi pengemis? kecuali itu adalah takdir hidup kita.

tetapi ada satu hal yang sangat perlu diperhatikan di jaman sekarang
UANG ADALAH RAJA karena KEPUASAAN MANUSIA ADALAH TAMUNYA!
Kita TIDAK PERNAH PUAS karena kita selalu memandang ke atas yang lebih nyaman
padahal apa yang kita miliki sekarang mungkin lebihdari cukup bagi orang2 yang jauh berada di bawah kita
tetapi di saat kita cukup,mungkin memang hasrat manusia untuk hidup lebih nyaman dan sejahtera,dan mungkin mereka melakukan itu karena mereka tahu bahwa HIDUP HANYA SEKALI saja,sehingga hidup yang SANGAT NYAMAN dahulu sebelum meninggal (entah masuk surga atau neraka)

uang?apa sih pentingnya?
SEKEDAR KERTAS BERTULISKAN NOMINAL ANGKA DAN TANDA TANGAN SERTA CAP DAN NOMOR YANG TAK TERLALU PENTING

tapi toh buktiny aorang ngesot-ngesot dan nangis-nangis atau bunuh-bunuh karena kertas yang tak penting itu?
bahkan mereka RELA MENGORBANKAN NYAWA ORANG YANG DISAYANGINYA atau MENJATUHKAN MARTABATNYA hanya demi mendapatkan 300 koper uang
hahaha
hidup karena uang dan bahagia karena uang
karena kertas bisa ditukar dengan barang,kepuasaan,prestise,posisi,dan nafsu
mungkin kita butuh uang,tapi kita perlu bertanya,apakah Tuhan menciptakan kita HANYA untuk mengoleksi uang dan menggunakannya sesuai kebutuhan kita?

kesimpulan yang terpenting adalah (menurut saya,entah menurut anda bagaimana,itu adalah hak anda):

And again, I found myself questioning it's realibility. Cause what I see, is not what I heard. I began to wonder. Does money can buy happiness? It certainly can buy health.

Suddenly I realized the power of them. Those things people die for. Money.

It can take someone's lives. It can bring them back.

It can make someone laugh. It can make them cry.

It can make them happy. It can make them mad.

Ah, why does we keep on rotating in the same cycle as ever. How do we get out, more, do we want to get out.

Does money still rule? Are they still the force behind all forces. I really want to say that they're not, but I'll be lying then.

MONEY JUST LIKE HELL IN HEAVEN

i'm just say sory

I used to condiser myself as a victim. and today, i learnt that im the villain. I agree that its shocking, sad, beautiful, and above all, ironic. It seems to me at first as a bucket of cold water being thrown at my face. Im speechless. Breathless. But as the water goes down, i can see the picture clearer than before.

I used to think that my friends never tell me anything, and i used to get pissed because of that. God, i was wrong. I thought that i dont belong with them. and once again, i was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Im a selfish boy without realizing, i blame others for my mistakes.

I get angry when no one reaches out for me, but the truth is... They are... I just cant see through the wall.

But today, i guess parts of the walls have been bombarded by the bucket of water. And Im grateful of it. I've spent the last 17 years dramatizing my life. For what? For endless misery, I think
Maybe what you see is not what it is. Your mind is a dangerous place, you may see what you're thinking in your mind, eventhough it's not the reality. I've been there, done that. Thankfully, I have my friends to watch me. To keep me away from my mind. Thanks is just the words im looking for you guys. And sorry i guess.

ups and downs

my heart beats fast.
you made me laugh when nobody's speaking.
you made me laugh when you're not with me.
you made me laugh by telling jokes
you made me laugh by incidents
my heart beats slower
you made me appreciate my life
but in the same time
you made me hate it.
i know
i just knew
sometimes,
something that you want the most
might come
at last
and something the last thing you want to happen
might just begun.
thank you,
for the ups and the downs that you brought me

i dont really fucking care with GOSSIP

gossip
they come and go
but the effect can last for a life time.
have you ever talked about someone without their acknowledgement?
if you say yes, then hereby i congratulate you.
you have the seed to become a backstabber.

have you ever FEEL what it's like to be gossiped?
to be the topic of someone else's need to talk
to feel your blood rise
till a point where you can't see right?

someone said to me that gossips are fun
they are highly entertaining
they adds excitement to your lives
and above all, they're free.
are they?
do you seriously believe they're free?

look around.

if YOU don't want to be gossiped
then stop doing so.


this is for all those fucking hipocrites and backstabbing creeps out there.

WHO WE ARE!!!

i always thought that my very-simple problems is the end of the world.
but it's not.
through someone's journey, i learned that life is not what we think it is.
i learned that one's life can be so easy to lose.
because we are mortals.
what we consider as the end of the world,
is nothing
once we realized that we're loved.

our lifes is going somwhere good because of the good people around us.
dont be stressed because of people who talk behind your backs.
because it is human nature to do that.
eventhough we didnt commit any sins, or murder,
we cannot stop them.
what we can do is stop payin any attention
and care less.

what we learned now
as the 21st generation
is different with our parents and grandparents.
that is what we call generation gap.
sometimes we disagree with them
because we think they're too strict or something.
what we never realize
is that we one day will be just like them.
maybe now we think we're right
that old people dont have life, or passion in their life.
they was once young too.
just like us.
but through their own life experience
they learnt about sacrifices.
and that's what we'll do.
we sacrifice
for the people we love.

life is hard
and sometimes' it's shit.
but that's the challenge.
we can die in 10seconds
but we will live for 80years.
we will have challanges
when we were married
have children
doing our exams
assignments
that's why we mustn't surrender
and do our best.
to b liberated
from what's no more than ourselves.
to love our culture
nationalities
religions
and be proud of it
to accept it
as us.
because they run in our blood
as our identity.
unlike our names
that we might change.
because it is who we are.


dont you care for what other's think or say about you.
think about what the people who loved you think.

thanks GOD

in this life, we are given so many things which we take for granted. sometimes, we even forgot to do the simplest thing ever, to be grateful for what we already had. we often complained for everything, which is actually irelevant.

for once, maybe we should look down instead of looking up all the time. there are THOUSANDS of people out there who can't afford to have a proper and adequate meals 3 times a day, and we just sit here and play?
i admit that i was not a charity-kinda-boy, but im trying to change. i know that GOD wants me to change. i want to start to look outside of the box. i know that i can make a difference in this world, how small is it, i dont know. but i will do whatever i can to help ease their sufferings. if i can, what about you?

i realized something important yesterday someone was telling us about stocks when some1 asked him the purpose of buying those. and some1 answered that the purpose is to make money and be rich. and he asked to me

"is rich considered happy? have you ever thought about the effects of these?"

and it struck me.
most of us nowdays just thought about how to make more and more money. slowly, without we realizing it, our gap between us and others who's in need became further and further, until it is uncrossable.
so, now im asking all of you to start to think about it. is it the kind of world that we want? if yes, than there's nothing i can do. but if you says no, then you are not alone. i believe that GOD created us with different skills and everything. but we have something in common. we, each one of us, can make a difference. if everyone realized this, than maybe, just maybe.. this world would be a better place.

i know that in this life, sometimes things which we do not wish to take place occured. in this life, we cannot predict what is going to happen. but whatever it is, either good or bad, is a blessing that GOD had prepared for us. eventhough it is bad, we must always think that this is GOD's plan. HE knows what is best for us, however miserable it seemed to be.
i know, because i've tasted bitterness in my life. but i believe that HE will always guide me and get me when i fall.

thanks GOD, for everything in my life. thank you...

IMPERFECT

the reason why i choose "imperfect" is because it reminds me that everybody has their own weaknesses, from their weakness, they will be used by the Lord extraordinarily. God uses the imperfect people, hopefully this phrase can push ourselves to have a humble heart. God loves youthe reason why i choose "imperfect" is because it reminds me that everybody has their own weaknesses, from their weakness, they will be used by the Lord extraordinarily. God uses the imperfect people, hopefully this phrase can push ourselves to have a humble heart. God loves you

Hand's Painting

A W E S O M E

KARMA does EXIST

Recent news have it, Indonesia's media report about our-neighbour-country's claims of our traditions which had rooted for many milleniums. Well, I think it will be better for us to leave them alone and make them feel bad. How ? We introduce our traditions as much as we can in any ways that we could find. I was watching travel and living, and they made a documentary film about Bali. That is exactly what we must do ! We have to promote, people, to raise our nationality and not to mention our income :p

And if you ask, why am I posting this in English while I said that we have to gain our nationality, it's because I want them to see this, and realize that we're not afraid of them, we're stronger than we were couple years ago, we're not as stupid as they thought we are, we tried to fight for our own freedom to build this country into a better one, we fight for peace and we never seek for an unimportant war, we own our lands and seas, we're poor but we have strong hearts, we have our sacred nation song which NOONE in this world is allowed to mock that, because we sing that at our freedom day, we're creative and innovative, we make our own musics, we have poeple who believe and understand their traditional heritage, we have living proof of our traditions. We may not be a good country in wealth, but we still love our traditions and we will do anything to keep them EXIST as Indonesia's heritage

optimist whoevr you are

If you want a happy life, think present. If you want a meaningful life, think tomorrow.
Dont lick your wounds, celebrate them. The scars you bear are the sign of a competitor.
One second can change your whole life.
Expect the unexpected.
Be optimist, but expect the worse.

tua vs muda?

Ga selamanya yang lebih tua benar
Ga selamanya dunia didominasi yang tua
Kita hidup dan kita akan mati
Suatu generasi ga akan berkuasa selama - lamanya
Kita yang muda adalah penerus
Kita yang muda tidak bodoh dan tidak dapat selamanya dimanipulasi
Ganti zaman ganti generasi
Ganti tahun, otak juga ganti
Ga selamanya kami bodoh, itu harus ditekankan
Ga selamanya kita yang menerima
Sudah saatnya aspirasi kita diterima
Sudah saatnya modernisasi diadaptasi
"Globalisasi harus diterima"
Boleh dicoba konsultasi
Boleh dibuka forum
Apapun agar mental kita ga lembek
Supaya kita bisa jadi generasi yang membentuk sesuatu, bukan yang terima jadi
Harusnya kita dididik seperti itu, bukan ?
Harusnya
Kalau tidak mau malu dengan generasi ini
Dan kalau mau kita semua maju dan sukses
Ga selamanya yang muda tidak boleh didengarkan

mother teresa said :

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta~

10 reasons to smile :)

1. Smiling Makes You Attractive.
We are drawn to people who smile.There is an instant attraction. We want to know them.

2. Smiling Changes Your Mood. Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. Smiling can trick the body.

3. Smiling is Contagious. Smiling brings happiness to you. Smile lots. You will lighten up a room and draw people to you like a magnet.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress.When you are stressed, put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you’ll be able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System.
Your immune function improves,because you are more relaxed. Prevent flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure.
When smiling there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Smile and you’ll see.

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin.Studies have shown that smiling releases these three and makes us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Makes You Look Younger. The muscles used to smile lift the face. Don’t go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful. Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive. Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that ”Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

~~Mark Stibich, Ph.D.~~

YOUR POTENTIAL IS YOUR OWN! only you could hold yourself back

SACRFICES have to be made in order to gain the title CHAMPION.
A lot will come up, this year, it'll probably the most difficult year ever.
University, school final paper, new-ought-to-be-happening experiences that I will have to lose, time for better grades, time for family and self-exploration.

STRONG HEART ! We did it three years ago people, make it happen again! Physic and Mental, those two will be our biggest enemy for the next months. Two years ago, tons of sacrifices were made. That proofs one and one only thing :

Thousands of SACRIFICES worth a single CHAMPION !

. . .

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

T E M A N

teman itu datang

teman itu tidak dipilih

teman itu tidak memilih

teman itu menemani

teman itu mempertahankan senyum

teman itu menyemangati

teman itu menguatkan

teman itu tulus

teman itu ikhlas

teman itu mengusir tangis

teman itu tidak lelah dan sabar

teman itu setia

teman itu mendengar

teman itu melihat

teman itu memperhatikan

teman itu berbicara

teman itu menjauhkan dari takut

teman itu hangat

teman itu membawa cinta

teman itu membawa sayang

Teman itu datang dan tidak dipilih.Teman itu menemani ketika kamu tersenyum, menyemangatimu dan berusaha mempertahankan senyummu. Dengan sepenuh hati, mereka membantu, mengusir tangismu, dan mengembalikan senyummu yang lebar, tanpa lelah. Ada dan setia. 

Teman selalu mendengar, mereka melihat, memperhatikan yang kamu lakukan. Mereka tidak diam, dan menyimpan ribuan kata di hati saja, mereka berbicara untuk kamu, di depan, tidak di belakang.

Teman tidak menakutkan. Mereka membuatmu hangat dan nyaman. Mereka memberi pelajaran teori dan praktek mengenai rasa sayang.

Mereka t-e-m-a-n, 5 huruf untuk puluhan, ratusan, ribuan kata

If Everyone Had a Father Like You

If everyone had a father
Who was more like you,
There'd be more laughing, joy and singing;
Fewer people would be blue.There'd be much more understanding;
Crime and hate could not prevail.
We'd all be so contented,
We wouldn't need a jail.If everyone had a father
Who was more like you,
The whole world would be blessed,
Just as I am blessed with you.

MY miracle mother

Mom, I look at you
and see a walking miracle.
Your unfailing love without limit,
your ability to soothe my every hurt,
the way you are on duty, unselfishly,
every hour, every day,
makes me so grateful
that I am yours, and you are mine.
With open arms and open heart,
with enduring patience and inner strength,
you gave so much for me,
sometimes at your expense.
You are my teacher,
my comforter, my encourager,
appreciating all, forgiving all.
Sometimes I took you for granted, Mom,
but I don’t now, and I never will again.
I know that everything I am today
relates to you and your loving care.
I gaze in wonder
as I watch you being you
my miracle, my mother.

"I don’t wanna be without you babe, I don’t want a broken heart ... " 

#broken hearted girl-beyonce


"But I can't forget you, can't break free, I've only got myself to blame, nothing feels the same without you. Can't you see? We can find tomorrow, what we lost yesterday, what we lost yesterday .. " 

#Can't forget you-gloria estefan
 
"Can we go back to the days our love was strong? Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong ... " 

#On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men
 
"Where ever it goes i always know, that you make me smile, please stay for a while now, just take your time where ever you go ... " 

#Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

"I try not to think about the pain I feel inside. Did you know you used to be My hero? All the days you spent with me, now seem so far away and it feels like you don't care anymore ... " 

#Perfect - Simple Plan

"So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered, and I can’t explain what happened, and I can’t erase the things that I’ve done, no I can’t ... " 

#Untitled - Simple Plan

"You were in my heart, my love never changed ... " 
#Especially For You - MYMP

play with sky

DRY AND DRY

You don't miss your water till the well runs dry
But I believe so strongly in you and I
Can somebody answer me the question why?
Because you don't miss your water till the well runs dry

Listen, if you ever get the feeling
You wanna play around start cheating,
Remember, you don't miss your water until the well runs dry........................

burn IT

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of him being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

the truth is

people are lying. are not keeping their promises,are bullshit,are coward.

and yet i still need to forgive them

dont believe in them who just talk without action.

dont say anything to me if you cant keep it cause its one of the most irritating stuff for me! moreover. try to keep your own word!

Y

YOGURTH
YOGURTH
YOGURTH
yogurth and yogurth
i want red manggo and all kinda of yogurth now
just back it to me and i'm going to eat and save
but let's move to another food,isnt it?
yogurth doesn't exist for a while,
but maybe..
i dun know
let's see

maybe someday

When you do something wrong to a particular person,
then you are sorry and longing for an apologize and you are about to ask for it but you just could not say it because someone makes you laugh and comfortable and someone seems to prefer forgetting what has happened, What will you do?

who are you

Best friends don't judge.

No. They never do.

They are honest. Blatantly so. And blunt. Even harsh, at times, too.

When others leave, they stay. When others close their ears, they listen. When others defend and reject, they spread their hands and welcome you back.

Best friends support you like strong legs to a table. Best friends hold you firm like a tree to its branches. They catch you when you fall, they don't throw you down. They share your joy, not take it away. They help you release your pain, they won't let it stay.

They may be partial, they may be clueless, they may not even understand what the bloody hell you are going through. Not that you, or anybody else for that matter, should expect them to. That would be asking too much.

But despite all your shortcomings, and bitterness, and countless bouts of absolute negativity, they're still there for you. They linger, against all odds. They still care. And they keep nothing to themselves. Not even the most painful, the most heartless of truths.

They may be wrong. They may be right.

But they should never judge you for who you are, or what you are not, and what you have and have not done in your life.

Best friends don't judge.

Heck. I know I don't.

So, tell me now.

What exactly are you...?

different way to see

the world seems have a different perspective with people, including me.
The world's eye sees something with their 'fun' and 'fake' eye,
but they don't like the truth, honesty, and etc.
Many things(and people) that seems so crooked(to me).
but some of the crooked perspectives that keep us from disaster,
like, if you always talk your friends in front of their face, it will cause endless confrontation.
its just because we dont like to be judge, are we?

well, sorry for the abstractness, just trying to spill my mind.

mind is gone

now its all starting to make sense. so obvious that i cant help it anymore. im stating that i am quit. quit of worrying things that have been bothering me so much.

no one knows what im suffering inside day and night. you will never know because i will never show. always think about any possibilities and questions that haunted me; "what am i supposed to do", "what should i consider this as", "what will happen next", "what if those expectations are true"

but now, not anymore. move on move on MOVE ON!

fragille,yes

I'm not afraid to be judged by others.

I'm not afraid of karma.
Because if you dare to do it why don't you dare to take the effect of it too?

I'm not afraid of people who don't like me.

I'm not afraid of anything.

I'm afraid of losing my parents.

thats how you get splinters in your heart

if youve got the time, we can play a game. its easy. we just see if im the same shape as the space you have inside you. if everything fits, we both win. if it doesnt, dont force it

i'm fighting now till the end

fight to be happy. fight to be strong. fight to be who the person you know you can be. fight for what you know is right. fight for you. fight for those around you not with them. continue to fight until the world realizes what it’s up against. even then, don’t stop. never stop. you have a right to be here, to make a difference. dont hold back. go get them

You are strong, strong as a soldier. even when winds are tough you'll always keep it together. You are strong, strong as a soldier. I know you'll get through anything. Cause you're strong, strong, strong as a soldier

? and ?

am i right? or am i wrong?

if i am wrong, dont correct me. if i am wrong, why does it feel so right.
maybe i would regret it later for choosing this path. maybe. or maybe 20 years from now i would regret it if i didnt listen to what my heart says. maybe. maybe ill find happiness in the end that is waiting for me as the 'reward' cos i have courage for taking the risks. maybe

we never know what it will end up to. bad or good the result is, you have to get through it

maybe it sounds too cliche. but it is. life is just can be one of these, solved or remain undone. you choose. it is not by fate. you choose your own fate.

don't look back - adhitia sofyan

Don’t look back
I’ll be holding your picture
Until you walk into the door
In this old house
I’ll be spending my time
Watching the dust flying in the wind
Waking up to empty Saturday nights
Wonderful time of the day
Secretly wasted and hopelessly fading
Till you walk into the door
Don’t look back
You go full speed ahead now
While these walls
Freeze me back in time
In this old / small town
I’ll be spending my time
Watching the lights went down /go down in the night

About the song : "Being left behind by that special someone and pretending to be strong"

 

LIFE

if ONLY you knew

I hope you're better than what they've been talking about.I decided to ebb my rage and handle this with cold head. There's no point rushing into anything with boiling rage like this. Talk with me well and I won't be mad at you. I won't mind. I won't remember. I'll pretend this never happens. I'm good at this, put your trust on me. Just grab some attitude. And you better give me a good reason for this. Thanks

good morning fire eater

I'm imaginary
I'm so imaginary


I'm not here. Not
there. I'm nowhere.
Anywhere.

I'm under the rays
of silver moon shining through your little
window. I'm above your lights. I'm the songs
played out inside your polished car. I'm
every fire you taste every morning.
I'm grinding under your nose.
I'm the blink of an eye. I'm
the whispers of your lips.
I'm always under
your cold,
shivering
skin.


I'm invisible. Invisible.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

(Reinhold Niebuhr)

got typical quotes from random today. successively. i was browsing and assumed those as coincidences yet funny! this, doesnt refer to any specific person or purpose. its just good to be shared and is nice if you learn something

"Letting go of someone might be hard, yet it is the best way to make the other stay. Keep in mind that no two things can occupy the same space ... at the same time."


so true. i even found myself laughing. cause i know something you dont. period.

friends: like new gadgets that will replace the old,am i right?that's real,reality

people often say things they didnt even mean to.
pretty things that made others feel secure,
they said that whatever happen, they'll always be there
and in the end, they didnt
they said 'im sorry, i have a lot in my mind' like a couple of months ago
and in the end, they'll forget about us

so what's up with friendship anyway?
when everybody say that friendship is forever and never dies.
i'd say 'fuck off, you don't live in a tv shows'
cause the truth is,
friends is just like a old-fashioned clothes,
and you'll always need a new one.

shallow isn't?
but that's reality.

cause whenever you think of having 'real' fun with your so-called-friends,
you'll ended up lying in your room,
and realized that you're fucked up.

this may be the reason i live

i love them,and they who become leaders in their spirit and hard work to keep excited and tried in every step in my life

now painting rainbows on my ugly face
i built this cardboard neighborhood's disgrace
but i ascend and serve my feverish need
within the confines of such chemistry

its the way i see
everything i need
its no way to be

let this be our little secret
no one needs to know were feeling
higher and higher and higher

but i feel alive and i feel it in me

passion pit-little secret
up and up i keep on climbing
higher and higher and higher

MY FUTURE IS MY CONFUSING

ugh, is hard to explain
one thing I fear most is the future, what would be the future, the ideals and dreams
when everyone is ready with supplies of the future and ready to go to college with dreams that will be taken as a bid to boost learning.
I'm still puzzled to determine and decide
I'll soon be Enrolled in Petra Christian University majoring in Marketing,
whether this is the right choice?
I do not know, but some said I should go to Surabaya University majoring in economics
but yah let it flow
God must have a plan that we do not know and it must be beautiful!
now I must focus to learn English and get a satisfactory test scores!
then focus in college
my goal: IP over 3! 5.3 hopefully hahaha!
focus focus focus and concentration!
like my aunt and uncle said: "while you're young is working hard now so that in the old days later you can enjoy the fruits of your hard work!"
my future is a CHALLENGE and THE LONG JOURNEY!
I'm the driver, I brought the car and later on I'll be a winner!

keep dreaming as high as your ambition

when it's not your problem and doesn't concern you at all, you should just 'storm out' of one's life and fuck your own. you know what? because if you DO so, it shows that you are a real suckerrrr and have no life.

(you should read this!)

it is just the WAY we are

We hold on to things the tightest, when we are forced to let them go—
We always want things a certain way, when we know can’t be so
Dreams always last the longest, when they are furthest from our reach—
And the lessons we can learn the most from, are often the very ones we teach.
The grass is always the greenest, when it lies on the other side—
And the truths we preach to others are often those we can’t abide.
We spend our time trying to see things, when perspective is one thing we lack—
And we never appreciate what we’ve got, until we can’t get it back.
We expect the whole world to give us a break, and yet ironically we’ll find—
That when others come asking us the same, we tell them they’re out of their mind.
We tell everyone what’s wrong with this world, and we do nothing to make it right—
We complain about families falling apart, and yet do nothing to keep them tight.
We preach about loving our neighbors, and we teach children right from wrong—
But we never set good examples for them, when real chances come along.
We complain about not having enough time in our lives, to do what we must do—
Yet if we were given more hours in the day, we’d use up all that, too.
We desire to be close to all those we love, yet all to often look from afar—
And when it comes to the truth do we want to change, or remain forever as we are?

(my grammar is still so damn bad,i have to study hard!,ielts :(

not everything you have, stays forever



but there are things you would be glad to fight for just so you can have them longer.

why cant i feel anything from anyone other than you

i am human

i thought ive forgotten. since its been 6months and i should be okay.

people say the best way to forget something in the past is to get a new one. im not exaggerating if i say it aint hard. but sometimes, among 6billions soul throughout the world, all you ever need is just one.

and too often to listen to your and that-who-used-to-be your ƒavourite person's reminescence songs, aint good at all. trust me.

lie and convice me, this too shall pass
fiuh,it's a long long journey ...

DO this twice

think twice before u say something, you might hurt people for years

B E F O R E

(hey guys,i just wanna to share for you,that we are one of the thousand million billion people in the world who were very lucky, because there are still many people who aren't fortunate and his life away from our suffering
so from now stopped seeing upwards but look down and you will discover how lucky you are now!)

before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can.t speak

before you complain about the taste of food, think of someone who has nothing to eat

before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who.s crying out to God for a companion

before you complain about life, think of someone who died too early

before you complain about your children, think of someone who desires children but they.re barren

before you argue about your dirty house, think of the people who are living in the streets

before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

before you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, disabled, and those who wish they had your job

before you think of pointing finger or condemning another, remember that no one of us is without sin!

and,

when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and think,"you.re alive and still around."

 

CIAYO CIAYO

blindness

today,
I'm surprised I know what love is :p what a love! I'm totally blind with love.

oops, gotta go.

Flightless Bird American Mouth

(when i saw the movie Twilight, at the end I found this song and I'm trying to find the song titles and eventually met "flightless bird american mouth" ,somehow I really like this song and make me more calm and stronger)

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

Overcome

sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past
 
stop planning the future
 
stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel

stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel

sometimes we just have to go with ...

whatever happens,IT WILL!


YOU WILL NEVER FIND YOURSELF UNTIL YOU FACE THE REALITY AND THE TRUTH


this is life,my life

like a burst of light that

always shines in the darkness

A lot!

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And ...

 

 

 

S A T I R E

i copied this from my friend: winda carmelita
she's a talented girl with a lot imajination and clever i thought :)
and this poem really touched me and inspired me to continue writing and working in literature,and this is a satire
for you

(anyway thank lots winda)




Sayang, sungguh mati aku suka padamu
Tapi aku cukup cerdas untuk menyadari bahwa kau memang sangat pintar
Kroco-kroco dalam kehidupanmu itu mengajakmu minum-minum agar kau mabuk dan mengubahmu jadi kambing congek, kamu tahu?

Sayang, sungguh mati aku mengalami euforia ketika mendengar namamu
Tapi aku cukup bisa berdiri sendiri di atas lantai kehidupanku
Aku tak butuh orang yang mendikteku ABCDE di telingaku sementara kamu sendiripun masih harus belajar mengeja F hingga Z

Sayang, sungguh mati aku menyayangimu
Tapi kamu sendiri harusnya tahu kan, menyewa seorang malaikat pelindung sepertiku, ada masa berlakunya
Kamu harus mengingat kapan dan bagaimana aku bisa menjadi kadaluwarsa dan kamu harus isi ulang vouchernya, untuk mengaktifkan masa aktifnya

Sayang, sungguh mati aku naksir padamu
Tapi .. persetan dengan semua Undang-Undang Dasar khasmu yang kamu minta tiap malam aku hafalkan.
Masa bodoh dengan ”Sunday, Monday, Tuesday” yang kamu diktekan padaku, karena yang kutahu ”Wednesday, Thursday, Friday” adalah dirimu.

Kadang kurasa kita berada di channel, atmosfer dan dimensi yang berbeda sehingga ketika aku menjadi setan, kamu menjadi malaikat

Someone Who Lives In Your Heart

 SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN YOUR HEART

ALL 4 ONE

(One of my favorite songs, old songs that have a very deep meaning and heartfelt, sometimes we can't say to show how big our compassion and love to someone, but with this song, all will be obvious, that love was there and love lived in my heart and your heart forever...)

 

Last night I dream that you were beside me
It seems so real that I cried
When you've touched me
You’re my angel
And you've given me wings

And I fly away with you wherever you go
Cause you filled my heart and you captured my soul
And baby i want you to know

If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart

And I know there's a million stars between us
But that won't stop my longing
To hold you and to kiss you
How I love you

And I'll find my way to you wherever you are
Coz you're in my soul and you've got my heart
And your love will carry me on

If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart

Here in my arms,were you should be
Cause your love that makes me believe
That nothing or no one can tear us apart cause baby your in my heart

If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart 

2 WORDS, which one?

There are too many words to say,but just a little bit words to feel.

unusual words and confused word,but it gives me a lot meanings

phrase or sentences weren't enough to explain at all
go back and drop on,i won't it
and i'm fragille now
i'm feeling a bit out of sorts
words tell me quietly but hurts a lot
simple and short
they didn't need formulas or chemical reaction
they didn't need structure,grammar,or s-p-o-k
just need a "heart" and a "mind" to say
two kind of words have differents
thinking and telling
truth or lie
may i said the words?
HERE WE ARE :

OR

I Will Be Here For You

I heard this song in car when i went to ialf,and i listened twice,wonderfull song!this song give me deepest meanings and touch my deepest heart :)
i dedicated this song for "MY PARENTS,mom and dad. My LITTLE SISTER,monika, and YOU also MY BESTEST FRIEND,ipin!"

When you feel the sunlight
Fade into the cold night
Don't know where to turn
Ya don't know where to turn
And all the dreams you're dreaming
Seem to lose their meaning
Let me in your world
Baby, let me in your world

All you need is someone you can hold
Don't be sad, you're not alone

I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by
I will be here for you

In this world of strangers
Of cold and friendly faces
There's someone you can trust
There's someone you can trust
I will be your shelter
I'll give you my shoulder
Just reach out for my love
Reach out for my love

Call my name
And my heart will hear
I will be there, there's nothing to fear

I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by
I will be here for you

I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by

I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by

I will be here for you
I will be here for you..

I Miss U

When i cry, you help me out
When i'm happy, you hear me shout
When i grind or freak,you know that i'm really mad
because you're my best friend

You were there in thick or thin
You hear me out when i want to talk with
You help me out when i get mad
You're the bestest friend i've ever had

You are the bestest friend i have and i sure miss you a lot

I'M NOT STUPID AT ALL

So what's goin on?
argh
you come back again!
call me like nothing happened
smile me like everything was going fine
i dont know what the differents between bullshit and fact,both are same,for me
ouh easily to said and told!how come?!
i was listening,but i didn't know why my voice within told me to away and let you go everywhere
To give up on everything
i just want to say: i don't trust you.anymore anytime any condition you are.
you're lying,too much.
eventhought you weren;t but i don't feel you,again
enough!
i'm not stupid ya?
you can't broke me up,enjoy your day!
you were not first,but you second.dont playing at all,for God sake you're sick and cruel!

SETELAH BEBERAPA LAMA

Setelah beberapa lama,

aku telah mengerti perbedaan tipis antara menggandeng tangan dan membelenggu cinta.

Setelah beberapa lama,

aku telah mengerti bahwa cinta bukan berarti bersandar dan teman bukan berarti kau telah aman.

Setelah beberapa lama,

aku telah mengerti bahwa ciuman bukanlah kontrak dan hadiah bukanlah janji-janji manis.

Setelah beberapa lama,

aku telah menerima segala kesalahan dan kekalahanku sambil mengangkat kepala dan membuka mataku,dengan kelapangan dada seorang yang telah dewasa,bukan lagi kesedihan seorang anak

Setelah beberapa lama,

aku telah belajar membangun semua jalanku hari ini karena tanah hari esok tidak bisa ditentukan oleh diri ku sendiri

Setelah beberapa lama,

aku telah mengerti bahwa sinar matahari akan membakar diriku sendiri jika berlebihan

Dan aku telah mendapat sebuah perumpamaan dari kesimpulan selama 18 tahun ini

"Tanamilah kebunmu dan hiasilah kebunmu,jangan menunggu orang lain membawa bibit bunga atau air untuk kebunmu!"

Dan disaat itu juga,

aku mengerti bahwa aku bisa bertahan...

aku mengerti bahwa tiap tetes air mata dan senyum adalah anugerah terbesar yang aku punya

Bahwa aku sebenarnya laki-laki yang kuat dan tegar..

dan aku sebenarnya berharga. . .

UPIN and IPIN -(never died friendship)-

i dedicated this poem for my bestest friend ever,who knows me very well and always in my next to heard and listen my stories,i didn't know why,but i felt so lucky to have you one there besides me.
now, i'm so lost without you :) but i've to believed that someday you're going to back
wherever you are,i always there besides you and drop my legs to join your foot-step

THE ONE AND ONLY YOU,
THANK YOU

you were there to listen
when no one else would
you would cheer me up
when no one else could

whenever i was scared
you'd chase my fears away
whenever i would cry
you'd wipe my tears away

i can always count on you
to help me smile again
i've come to count on you
bcause you will be there besides me in the end

so, i want to say THANKS
for always being there
and for saving me
from my own despair,sadness,and hopeless

and one final thing
here in this part
i love you
with every pieces of my heart

 

i'll always waiting for you to come back

no one else

this is for you

the one and only you

 

so,smile with your georgeous smile

walk wth your chin held high

get up off the ground to move

don't let your dreams die

 

keep moving upin

i believe you can

i believe you'll do the best for yours

wipe your tears

and hold your spirit with pray

and someday if you come back

i will smile and say: here i am waiting for you

CIAYOOO!!!

 

00.26